respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
