You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My liver just had a heart attack.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize