no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Randomize