Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
