I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
