I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
