Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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