I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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