Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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