I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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