Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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