there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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