somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
