im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
