He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Sponge bath it is.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
