Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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