i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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