when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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