youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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