just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
