The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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