he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize