Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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