just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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