Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
