problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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