I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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