.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
