i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
