He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
