Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
