you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It's never too late to be topless.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
