I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
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on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
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Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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