Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
