if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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