Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
