If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
