Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
