epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
