Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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