And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
