Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
worst night to have a conscience
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
