does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
