how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
