is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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