u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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