1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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