I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
