worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
