You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
