Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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