I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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