Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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