and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
