your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
