WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My breasts were aching with rage.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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