Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
