Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
