I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
