I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
