But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
