spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
