I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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