Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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