Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
