I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
