I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
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I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
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Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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