Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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