I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
